You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
