maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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