its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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