Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
