I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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