everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
