If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
