butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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