all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
