it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
