I wish you could order shots online.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We are all done wearing pants today
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
