And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
