I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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