im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
