yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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