I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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