Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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