There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
