You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
