his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
