Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
we're so committed to being not committed
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