i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
