The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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