Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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