Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
accomplished twins. life is a go
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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