How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
