I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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