I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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