Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Who did Billy Mays play for?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
