My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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