I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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