stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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