her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
