All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
smell my finger.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
