some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
