i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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