god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
