worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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