I faked an abortion last night.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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