This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
