True but thats because hes a fetus.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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