I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
