i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
