blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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