Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
