I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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