You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
