Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
