Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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