If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
wow bdsm is so cute
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize